Almost getting to the end of the first semester of my junior year I look back and I notice that I’ve been procrastinating too much and I always wait to the last day. I’ve noticed that because I tend to do this a lot it gotten me to a point where I get behind pace and it has put me in jeopardy of playing soccer. Since before the beginning of the soccer season I tried to get my grades up so I would be eligible to play. Once the season started I had my grades at the required number of passing classes to play. It’s a little stressing to keep up my grades while I play soccer and have to deal with family issues and also my explorer training. When I look back at all those years before and the chances I had to get ahead of all the other students I find myself not doing it and just messing around or procrastinating. I have tried breaking the habit of this procrastination but I always end up getting distracted or caught up with other things I had planned to do. I been trying to catch up on the rest of my classes that I’m behind in but it’s more difficult than I thought and now I’ve noticed that it has had me stressing. This year I’ve stressed a lot because of my grades and because if I don’t keep my grades up I won’t be able to play anymore in the soccer team and soccer is my passion and I don’t want to stop playing because of my grades. My stressing has made me have some problems with my friends and not be as close as we use to be. I tend to try and keep to myself because I feel that nobody would understand me and just stop listening to what I have in my mind. It’s been difficult to stay focused on school because of all the stress I have to deal with and all these problems I have to deal with outside of school. I have family problems I have to deal with and it’s been really hard. A new day has started and I’ve been trying to catch up on my school work and now I’ve been focusing more on school than on all the stuff I would tend to focus on in the past. As I think about my future and I think about what I want to do with my life after high school I start to think that I need a short term career or job for a couple year until I’m able to get into the police academy. My thoughts are that I need to work for about three year straight out of high school so I can save up enough money to pay off the police academy. As I think about it I’m not sure if I should go and work in the fields with my dad or if I should go and become a truck driver. It’s difficult to decide because both jobs are going to be tiring but when I look at them I tend to focus more on being a truck driver because I don’t have to be breaking my back out in the hot sun or in the freezing cold weather instead I can be in a comfortable truck with a/c and heater. My parents always push me to do better than what they are doing themselves and they push me to stay in school and to focus on my education because they themselves have told me and have experienced it that in the United States you can’t really do much without an education. As I look at that I think about the things I’m doing right now and the things I’ve done in my past and I start thinking that if I don’t get my stuff together now I won’t be able to have a good job and won’t be able to do much. I now try pushing myself to get caught up on my classes so I can graduate and keep on going with my studies so I can have a better future. Journal entry #1 My senior year so far is going pretty well. I already got assigned homework for traeger's class. this year i have a lot to catch up on because of me slacking off last year. i'm behind about two classes that i have to make up for this year including my classes for senior year. im starting to stress a little but its not stress its more of a thought if i can make it through. everytime i think about that it makes me want to finish already because last year seniors told me that it was hard and now it's starting to hit me hard that it's my senior year and that i'm just months away from graduating. past seniors tell me that this year is the year that in a blink of an eye it flies by. my junior year i felt that flew by really quick so now i'm thinking that senior year is going to be done by tomorrow. i need to finish my US history class quick so i can make up for my spanish for spanish speakers 1 class that i procrastinate a lot in last year. its going to be a bit difficult to finish all those classes and the ones from last year but i need to finish strong to prove my parents that i can finish high school in 4 years and not have to come back again just to finish a class. the first few days of school this year i felt were still part of last year. i really didn't feel like i was a senior but once the first three days passed and i started getting work from every class it started to hit me that if i don't finish everything on time i might not be able to walk out there with everyone else. i actually do want to walk because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you get in life so i want to walk down that field next to one of my closest friends talking about all the memories that we made in these past four years in high school and how we had our ups and downs. its the beginning of the second week and i'm already tired of getting up early to go to school i just want to sleep in for a couple more hours but i get up and push myself to go to school so i can finish this year of strong. it's our second week and honestly i can say that it has hit me that i'm a senior now. today i got assigned a project that is due in about two weeks. i'm starting to stress over the fact of all the sleepless night that i'm going to have to go through so i can finish this work for all the classes i have this year plus on top of that the classes that i have to finish from last year. its going to be hard but i made the wrong decision last year of goofy around and procrastinating and just putting everything aside for this year. journal entry #2Since the beginning of the year a lot has changed. Soccer season is about to begin. Our first game is a little less than two weeks away. I'm anxious for it to get here but then again i'm not because i'm behind in 4 classes and i need to catch up real quick. I've tried talking to my teachers to see what i need to catch up but i still haven't gotten to talking to all of them. I was beginning to procrastinate but then i seen my grades and it changed my thoughts and it reminded me that it's my last year and that i only have a few more months left here in high school. My goal for the end of this semester is to be on pace or even be ahead of pace for most of my classes. It's going to be hard to get caught up and to get ahead but it will help me to on pace to graduate and it will all be worth it at the end of the year. I need to get caught up and be on pace on all my classes so i don't have to stress at the end of the year. As a new day begins i get to school and i go to my classes. I start with my T.A. class so i sit there and instead of doing nothing i decide to start doing work for one of the classes that i slack off in a lot and that is english. I finish my life map that was due a couple weeks ago but i never finished it because i was too lazy to get it out and work on it but today i decided to stop doing all that and focus on my work. As i sit here and think about the end of the semester just around the corner it hits me really hard. It's a bittersweet thing. i want to graduate already but then again i don't want to leave this place and all the memories that i once had with great friends. Its just the end of the first semester but it feels like just yesterday i was walking into the high school's gym for my freshmen orientation. I can still remember the first day when i had classes here for the first time and when i was lost and confused where my classes where at. I went to my brother and asked him where it was at and he told me where to go but then i remember him say “hurry up freshie because if you don't get there in time the seniors are going to get you and trash you.” I knew he was just teasing but i hurried anyways. when lunch came around i was walking around and i bumped into my sister and i she just asked me how my day was going and if i was finding everything. i remember i told her that it was all fine. i still remember that day as if it was just yesterday but now that i look at it, that happened a little over three years ago. Journal #3 Winter break was pretty good. I'm ready to start this next semester and finish high school. Something that i like about last semester was that i keep my grades good in most of my classes. The one thing that i regret is that i didn't finish all seven classes with a level three or higher. As i sit here and regret it i think about what i can do to finish them this semester along with the other classes that i already have. Im planning on staying after school a couple days so i can catch those classes up and get that out the way. I need to finish them as soon as i can because i don't want to come back for a fifth year just because of one or two classes that i didn't finish because i slacked off on them. The reality has began to hit me. It's hit me in the fact that i only have a couple months left of my high school years. High school has been a good and a fun time of my life. I spent my four years in high school with good friends making unforgettable memories. I still have this last semester to make many more memories. I sit here in this desk thinking about how life was here at Lindsay. It was good being in this high school and i honestly wouldn't want to experience it anywhere else. I still remember my first as a freshmen as i got of the car and i began to look around to find my friends to kick it with. i was a little scared because i didn't know how it was going to be. My brother and sister just told me that it'd be like any other school but that it'd be better. i really didn't understand what they meant with better but as the day went by and as all these months and these couple years go by i now understand what they ment with better. Its different from any other place i've been but at the same time it's the same. This place feels like a home to me. I know where everything is at. My first day i didn't know where anything was at and i was lost. It took me a couple of days maybe even a week or two to memorize my schedule and where my classes where at. I have been thinking of what i want to do after i graduate and my plan is to go to porterville college to study Administrative justice. While studying i want to also work. I'm going to need money for the books and for the gas that i waste going to and from school and work and home. I have been applying to a couple of jobs around town but none of them have called me so i'm planning on applying in Porterville, Visalia or Tulare. Im hoping in getting a job in porterville so i don't have to drive so far everyday. Journal #4
The fact that graduation is just a couple months away has me stressing out. I honestly am very nervous. i need to catch up on my english class and in my Spanish for spanish speakers class. As of right now i need to turn in a lot of work in order for me to graduate. It has made me begin to stress because i don't want to stay another year. i need to graduate this year so i can prove that i'm not a quitter. I sat down and i talked to my counselor about how i was doing. The way I'm going, I'm pushing the limit to whether or not i'm going to graduate. She gave me due dates to have the work done. As long as i finish everything that i'm behind in by those due dates she says that i could graduate along with the rest of the seniors. My mom has been on my back so i can get all that work done so i can graduate this year and i don't have to come back again. My mom is the main reason that i'm still pushing forward to graduate this year. After i'm done with all this and that i graduate from high school i plan on working during summer so i can have some money for college in the fall. I plan on going to Porterville college during the fall. The class that i'm thinking on taking is Administrative Justice. My plan is to study at Porterville college for two years and receive my AS-T. After i'm done with that i plan on going to the academy in Hanford for law enforcement. I am working on applying to different jobs so i can work and go to college at the same time. Even though i'm not going far and i'm not leaving my parents house yet i still need to pay for books, gas, and other expenses. I am honestly looking forward to finishing high school and taking a good vacation during this summer. As i look back on my senior year and on all my high school years i'm grateful for all the people that I've met. My group of friends became smaller but i have learned how to choose my people wisely and who to trust. I've learned a lot from the people that claimed to be my friends but have actually never cared. As i look back i appreciate them coming into my life because i had good times with them and even though we don't talk i learned something from them, I learned that you can never get too attached to somebody because they won't be there for you all the time. It was a good time here in high school with all the good people i have met. I'm honestly going to miss it. I appreciate all the teachers in here that have pushed me to finish all the work. I'm a hard headed person but these teachers never gave up on me and continued to push me forward instead of giving up and just letting me fail.
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